Meliorism: the belief that we can contribute to positive change and improve the world through acts of love, creativity, compassion, and kindness.
Songs that make your heart sing, good reads snuggled in bed, diamond water, the people who bring you only joy and comfort, the opportunities that electrify you, the places that inspire, the experiences that take your breath away, the rituals that heal. These are the glimmers I hold onto at this time of year. I catch them, cradle them gently then pocket them like shells as we bunker in against the cold, hibernating like woodland animals.
We’ve just returned from our annual winter defrost at the beach. It's turned into a tradition, this escaping of the glittering ice underfoot, the rolling fog that huddles over us until midday. God I hate that fog. Nothing puts me in a worse mood. So, we escape to our favourite beach to watch the whales swim past to warmer waters, the dolphins surf the waves, the sun turn the water to diamonds, feel the heavy, warm air on our bare skin. We can wear t-shirts and swimmers again when we’re down there, and trick ourselves into thinking it’s not winter for a while. I swim each day (although this was foiled a little this time), feel the knots loosen in my shoulders, the salt sting on my skin, electrifying it. I tip my head back and breathe again. We spend hours tiptoeing along the shoreline searching for the perfect sunset Pippi or spiral turban shell, its outer layers of creamy white stripped back in places to the shimmering mother-of-pearl insides. They make my children stop, these shells. I watch as they bend and admire them, then scoop them up into their soft little hands and pass them to me to admire, to pocket.
This trip we had two incredible things happen to us. We weathered two days through an event called a bombe cyclone, the strangest weather event we’ve been part of. The sea and sand and sky was whipped to white. The rain lashed in every direction as if it couldn’t decide. The wind wailed all day and all night for two days straight. It was harrowing and epic and one of those moments that make you feel very small. And just before that we had a whale encounter that will stay with me forever. Which also made me feel very small!
Her back emerged from the dark water, slick navy, nobby, grand. Everything you see on the documentaries only we were seeing her there, right there in front of us, just beyond the sloped rock shelf we stood on. The sheer size of it took my breath away. If I had spread my arms and leapt off the rock I would have landed on her back. We could see every detail on her, that’s how close we were. Awe and disbelief at what I was seeing made me speechless for just a moment and then, as my eyes caught up to my brain I called to the kids. ‘Whale, whale!’ Breathlessly I pointed. We all watched her slowly and yet too quickly disappear again under the swirling water. We ran along the rock face, trying to catch sight of her again, but she was gone, much further out now. Too far. It’s an experience that has already sunk into my bones. One I will never forget.
We’re home now, and quietly, in this white and frosty world I’m continuing to create. Determined to produce something that has something useful to say. It’s nearly ready and there’s an energy about this story that crackles, that makes me feel I’m on the precipice again with the whale, about to leap into the great, big, beautiful unknown.
Books I’ve been loving (or know I am about to love)
Isola by Allegra Goodman - historical coming-of-age fiction about a spoilt but strong young woman whose guardian squanders her inheritance and who eventually exiles her to an island with her lover and old nurse. She must overcome the elements of the mysterious island to survive. *also listening to this on audiobook on my commutes to work and it’s beautifully narrated.
Marigold Parks by Jessa Hastings - a deliciously indulgent will they or won’t they story about two of London’s uber rich socialites, with a fake dating trope thrown in. Think Gossip Girl, The OC, Tatler and Made in Chelsea all wrapped up in one. A bit of fun.
I also attended my favourite writing festival, Storyfest a couple of weeks ago and picked up the following books because I was so impressed by the authors and the stories they told:
Lonely Mouth by Jacqueline Maley - this is next up on my TBR, it’s getting high praise and I was completely hypnotised by the eloquent, open and raw Jacqueline.
100 Years of Betty by Debra Oswald - the character voice in this one is strong, the character a firecracker, just like her author. Debra was such fun to hear from, the kind of lady you know you’d have a great time with if you took her out for a drink. She made the very poignant comment that women’s stories need to be felt and lived and walked in in order for people to even get a taste of understanding. That’s why she wrote Betty.
The Honeyeater by Jessie Tu - Jessie Tu’s self-deprecating humour, honesty about her upbringing and pure outrage with the world was catching (even if I did want to help her take a breath and have her look up and see the beauty around her). I’ll expect nothing less from her novel.
Instagram loves
@thebesottedbookworm for nostalgic illustrations and lovely quotes
@lydia for insanely over the top but oh so gorgeous lifestyle blogger
@nicolajanehobbs for gentle reminders about the benefits of slowing down and why you need to give yourself permission to do so.
We are preparing for a studio space. A little fox den for me to tiptoe across to and write in and for us to accommodate friends and family more comfortably. I’ve found myself trawling AD, J Young and Pinterest often for inspiration to decorate the space (beautiful interiors are a guilty pleasure). I'm including here some of the beauty I’ve found along the way. More lovely ideas to come.
Happy Sunday, S x
